I. CAUGHT. THE. CHIPMUNK!
I am a ferocious hunter!!! Wee Beasties of the Backyard-Fear Me! For I will not rest until you are brought down! That means you, Mr. Wee Chipmunk who is looking for a mate. Yeah you! You, eater of my strawberry plants. Destroyer of my Roma Tomatos. You shall not continue to vex me with your early morning chirping any longer!
For I have opposable thumbs and peanut butter!!
Don’t let those beady little eyes fool you. He really is a noisy little beastie who hunted for a mate at the early morning hour of 6 am! Right outside my bedroom window! And he ate ALL my strawberries until nothing but limp little plants remained. Not even my impatiens were safe from this itty bitty destructo.
Alas, I am not so cruel as to capture you in a rat trap. Or even to hunt you with a pellet gun. No, I am nice and have captured you in a live trap so that you can spread your chirping and strawberry eating elsewhere. Like the ravine on the other side of the river, far from my home. I wish you well and a long happy Munk life.
But not under my bedroom window, buddy.